1. Make up your mind to be happy.
Learn to find pleasure in simple things.
2. Make the best of your circumstances.
No one has everything, and everyone has something
of sorrow intermingled with gladness of life. The trick is
to make the laughter outweigh the tears.
3. Don't take yourself too seriously.
Don't think that somehow you should be protected
from misfortune that befalls other people.
4. You can't please everybody. Don't let criticism worry you.
5. Don't let your neighbour set your standards. Be yourself.
6. Do the things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt.
7. Never borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder
to bear than real ones.
8. Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish jealousy,
Avoid people who make you unhappy.
9. Have many interests. If you can't travel, read about new places.
10. Don't hold postmortems. Don't spend your time brooding
over sorrows or mistakes. Don't be one who never gets over things.
11. Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself.
12. Keep busy at something. A busy person never has time
to be unhappy.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
Instructions For Life
1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, dont lose the Lesson.
3. Follow the Three R's:
a) Respect for self,
b) Respect for others,
c) Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
7. When you realized that you have made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend sometime alone everyday.
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it for a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with the loved one, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your Knowledge. It is a way to achieve Immortality.
15. Be Gentle with Earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you have never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
2. When you lose, dont lose the Lesson.
3. Follow the Three R's:
a) Respect for self,
b) Respect for others,
c) Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
7. When you realized that you have made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend sometime alone everyday.
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it for a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with the loved one, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your Knowledge. It is a way to achieve Immortality.
15. Be Gentle with Earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you have never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
Monday, August 4, 2008
How To Communicate: Improve Your Relationships With Effective Communication Skills
Stay Focused: Sometimes it’s tempting to bring up past seemingly related conflicts when dealing with current ones. Unfortunately, this often clouds the issue and makes finding mutual understanding and a solution to the current issue less likely, and makes the whole discussion more taxing and even confusing. Try not to bring up past hurts or other topics. Stay focused on the present, your feelings, understanding one another and finding a solution.
Listen Carefully: People often think they’re listening, but are really thinking about what they’re going to say next when the other person stops talking. Truly effective communication goes both ways. While it might be difficult, try really listening to what your partner is saying. Don’t interrupt. Don’t get defensive. Just hear them and reflect back what they’re saying so they know you’ve heard. Then you’ll understand them better and they’ll be more willing to listen to you.
Try To See Their Point of View: In a conflict, most of us primarily want to feel heard and understood. We talk a lot about our point of view to get the other person to see things our way. Ironically, if we all do this all the time, there’s little focus on the other person’s point of view, and nobody feels understood. Try to really see the other side, and then you can better explain yours. (If you don't 'get it', ask more questions until you do.) Others will more likely be willing to listen if they feel heard.
Respond to Criticism with Empathy: When someone comes at you with criticism, it’s easy to feel that they’re wrong, and get defensive. While criticism is hard to hear, and often exaggerated or colored by the other person’s emotions, it’s important to listen for the other person’s pain and respond with empathy for their feelings. Also, look for what’s true in what they’re saying; that can be valuable information for you.
Own What’s Yours: Realize that personal responsibility is a strength, not a weakness. Effective communication involves admitting when you’re wrong. If you both share some responsibility in a conflict (which is usually the case), look for and admit to what’s yours. It diffuses the situation, sets a good example, and shows maturity. It also often inspires the other person to respond in kind, leading you both closer to mutual understanding and a solution.
Use “I” Messages: Rather than saying things like, “You really messed up here,” begin statements with “I”, and make them about yourself and your feelings, like, “I feel frustrated when this happens.” It’s less accusatory, sparks less defensiveness, and helps the other person understand your point of view rather than feeling attacked.
Look for Compromise Instead of trying to ‘win’ the argument, look for solutions that meet everybody’s needs. Either through compromise, or a new solution that gives you both what you want most, this focus is much more effective than one person getting what they want at the other’s expense. Healthy communication involves finding a resolution that both sides can be happy with.
Take a Time-Out: Sometimes tempers get heated and it’s just too difficult to continue a discussion without it becoming an argument or a fight. If you feel yourself or your partner starting to get too angry to be constructive, or showing some destructive communication patterns, it’s okay to take a break from the discussion until you both cool off. Sometimes good communication means knowing when to take a break.
Don’t Give Up: While taking a break from the discussion is sometimes a good idea, always come back to it. If you both approach the situation with a constructive attitude, mutual respect, and a willingness to see the other’s point of view or at least find a solution, you can make progress toward the goal of a resolution to the conflict. Unless it’s time to give up on the relationship, don’t give up on communication.
Ask For Help If You Need It: If one or both of you has trouble staying respectful during conflict, or if you’ve tried resolving conflict with your partner on your own and the situation just doesn’t seem to be improving, you might benefit from a few sessions with a therapist. Couples counseling or family therapy can provide help with altercations and teach skills to resolve future conflict. If your partner doesn’t want to go, you can still often benefit from going alone.
Listen Carefully: People often think they’re listening, but are really thinking about what they’re going to say next when the other person stops talking. Truly effective communication goes both ways. While it might be difficult, try really listening to what your partner is saying. Don’t interrupt. Don’t get defensive. Just hear them and reflect back what they’re saying so they know you’ve heard. Then you’ll understand them better and they’ll be more willing to listen to you.
Try To See Their Point of View: In a conflict, most of us primarily want to feel heard and understood. We talk a lot about our point of view to get the other person to see things our way. Ironically, if we all do this all the time, there’s little focus on the other person’s point of view, and nobody feels understood. Try to really see the other side, and then you can better explain yours. (If you don't 'get it', ask more questions until you do.) Others will more likely be willing to listen if they feel heard.
Respond to Criticism with Empathy: When someone comes at you with criticism, it’s easy to feel that they’re wrong, and get defensive. While criticism is hard to hear, and often exaggerated or colored by the other person’s emotions, it’s important to listen for the other person’s pain and respond with empathy for their feelings. Also, look for what’s true in what they’re saying; that can be valuable information for you.
Own What’s Yours: Realize that personal responsibility is a strength, not a weakness. Effective communication involves admitting when you’re wrong. If you both share some responsibility in a conflict (which is usually the case), look for and admit to what’s yours. It diffuses the situation, sets a good example, and shows maturity. It also often inspires the other person to respond in kind, leading you both closer to mutual understanding and a solution.
Use “I” Messages: Rather than saying things like, “You really messed up here,” begin statements with “I”, and make them about yourself and your feelings, like, “I feel frustrated when this happens.” It’s less accusatory, sparks less defensiveness, and helps the other person understand your point of view rather than feeling attacked.
Look for Compromise Instead of trying to ‘win’ the argument, look for solutions that meet everybody’s needs. Either through compromise, or a new solution that gives you both what you want most, this focus is much more effective than one person getting what they want at the other’s expense. Healthy communication involves finding a resolution that both sides can be happy with.
Take a Time-Out: Sometimes tempers get heated and it’s just too difficult to continue a discussion without it becoming an argument or a fight. If you feel yourself or your partner starting to get too angry to be constructive, or showing some destructive communication patterns, it’s okay to take a break from the discussion until you both cool off. Sometimes good communication means knowing when to take a break.
Don’t Give Up: While taking a break from the discussion is sometimes a good idea, always come back to it. If you both approach the situation with a constructive attitude, mutual respect, and a willingness to see the other’s point of view or at least find a solution, you can make progress toward the goal of a resolution to the conflict. Unless it’s time to give up on the relationship, don’t give up on communication.
Ask For Help If You Need It: If one or both of you has trouble staying respectful during conflict, or if you’ve tried resolving conflict with your partner on your own and the situation just doesn’t seem to be improving, you might benefit from a few sessions with a therapist. Couples counseling or family therapy can provide help with altercations and teach skills to resolve future conflict. If your partner doesn’t want to go, you can still often benefit from going alone.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Top 10 tips for Nonverbal Communication
Good communication skills can help you in both your personal and professional life. While verbal and written communication skills are important, research has shown that nonverbal behaviors make up a large percentage of our daily interpersonal communication. How can you improve your nonverbal communication skills? The following top ten tips for nonverbal communication can help you learn to read the nonverbal signals of other people and enhance your own ability to communicate effectively.
1. Pay Attention to Nonverbal Signals
People can communicate information in numerous ways; so pay attention to things like eye contact, gestures, posture, body movements, and tone of voice. All of these signals can convey important information that isn't put into words. By paying closer attention to other people's nonverbal behaviors, you will improve your own ability to communicate nonverbally.
2. Look for Incongruent Behaviors
If someone's words do not match their nonverbal behaviors, you should pay careful attention. For example, someone might tell you they are happy while frowning and staring at the ground. Research has shown that when words fail to match up with nonverbal signals, people tend to ignore what has been said and focus instead on nonverbal expressions of moods, thoughts, and emotions.
3. Concentrate on Your Tone of Voice When Speaking
Your tone of voice can convey a wealth of information, ranging from enthusiasm to disinterest to anger. Start noticing how your tone of voice affects how others respond to you and try using tone of voice to emphasize ideas that you want to communicate. For example, if you want to show genuine interest in something, express your enthusiasm by using an animated tone of voice.
4. Use Good Eye Contact
When people fail to look others in the eye, it can seem as if they are evading or trying to hide something. On the other hand, too much eye contact can seem confrontational or intimidating. While eye contact is an important part of communication, it's important to remember that good eye contact does not mean staring fixedly into someone's eyes. How can you tell how much eye contact is correct? Some communication experts recommend intervals of eye contact lasting four to five seconds.
5. Ask Questions About Nonverbal Signals
If you are confused about another person's nonverbal signals, don't be afraid to ask questions. A good idea is to repeat back your interpretation of what has been said and ask for clarification. An example of this might be, "So what you are saying is that..."
6. Use Signals to Make Communication More Effective and Meaningful
Remember that verbal and nonverbal communication work together to convey a message. You can improve your spoken communication by using nonverbal signals and gestures that reinforce and support what you are saying. This can be especially useful when making presentations or when speaking to a large group of people.
7. Look at Signals as a Group
A single gesture can mean any number of things, or maybe even nothing at all. The key to accurately reading nonverbal behavior is to look for groups of signals that reinforce a common point. If you place too much emphasis on just one signal out of many, you might come to an inaccurate conclusion about what a person is trying to communicate.
8. Consider Context
When you are communicating with others, always consider the situation and the context in which the communication occurs. Some situations require more formal behaviors that might be interpreted very differently in any other setting. Consider whether or not nonverbal behaviors are appropriate for the context. If you are trying to improve your own nonverbal communication, concentrate on ways to make your signals match the level of formality necessitated by the situation.
9. Be Aware That Signals Can be Misread
According to some, a firm handshake indicates a strong personality while a weak handshake is taken as a lack of fortitude. This example illustrates an important point about the possibility of misreading nonverbal signals. A limp handshake might actually indicate something else entirely, such as arthritis. Always remember to look for groups of behavior. A person's overall demeanor is far more telling than a single gesture viewed in isolation.
10. Practice, Practice, Practice
Some people just seem to have a knack for using nonverbal communication effectively and correctly interpreting signals from others. These people are often described as being able to "read people." In reality, you can build this skill by paying careful attention to nonverbal behavior and practicing different types of nonverbal communication with others. By noticing nonverbal behavior and practicing your own skills, you can dramatically improve your communication abilities.
1. Pay Attention to Nonverbal Signals
People can communicate information in numerous ways; so pay attention to things like eye contact, gestures, posture, body movements, and tone of voice. All of these signals can convey important information that isn't put into words. By paying closer attention to other people's nonverbal behaviors, you will improve your own ability to communicate nonverbally.
2. Look for Incongruent Behaviors
If someone's words do not match their nonverbal behaviors, you should pay careful attention. For example, someone might tell you they are happy while frowning and staring at the ground. Research has shown that when words fail to match up with nonverbal signals, people tend to ignore what has been said and focus instead on nonverbal expressions of moods, thoughts, and emotions.
3. Concentrate on Your Tone of Voice When Speaking
Your tone of voice can convey a wealth of information, ranging from enthusiasm to disinterest to anger. Start noticing how your tone of voice affects how others respond to you and try using tone of voice to emphasize ideas that you want to communicate. For example, if you want to show genuine interest in something, express your enthusiasm by using an animated tone of voice.
4. Use Good Eye Contact
When people fail to look others in the eye, it can seem as if they are evading or trying to hide something. On the other hand, too much eye contact can seem confrontational or intimidating. While eye contact is an important part of communication, it's important to remember that good eye contact does not mean staring fixedly into someone's eyes. How can you tell how much eye contact is correct? Some communication experts recommend intervals of eye contact lasting four to five seconds.
5. Ask Questions About Nonverbal Signals
If you are confused about another person's nonverbal signals, don't be afraid to ask questions. A good idea is to repeat back your interpretation of what has been said and ask for clarification. An example of this might be, "So what you are saying is that..."
6. Use Signals to Make Communication More Effective and Meaningful
Remember that verbal and nonverbal communication work together to convey a message. You can improve your spoken communication by using nonverbal signals and gestures that reinforce and support what you are saying. This can be especially useful when making presentations or when speaking to a large group of people.
7. Look at Signals as a Group
A single gesture can mean any number of things, or maybe even nothing at all. The key to accurately reading nonverbal behavior is to look for groups of signals that reinforce a common point. If you place too much emphasis on just one signal out of many, you might come to an inaccurate conclusion about what a person is trying to communicate.
8. Consider Context
When you are communicating with others, always consider the situation and the context in which the communication occurs. Some situations require more formal behaviors that might be interpreted very differently in any other setting. Consider whether or not nonverbal behaviors are appropriate for the context. If you are trying to improve your own nonverbal communication, concentrate on ways to make your signals match the level of formality necessitated by the situation.
9. Be Aware That Signals Can be Misread
According to some, a firm handshake indicates a strong personality while a weak handshake is taken as a lack of fortitude. This example illustrates an important point about the possibility of misreading nonverbal signals. A limp handshake might actually indicate something else entirely, such as arthritis. Always remember to look for groups of behavior. A person's overall demeanor is far more telling than a single gesture viewed in isolation.
10. Practice, Practice, Practice
Some people just seem to have a knack for using nonverbal communication effectively and correctly interpreting signals from others. These people are often described as being able to "read people." In reality, you can build this skill by paying careful attention to nonverbal behavior and practicing different types of nonverbal communication with others. By noticing nonverbal behavior and practicing your own skills, you can dramatically improve your communication abilities.
Friday, July 11, 2008
10 Tips To Boost Ur Confidence
1.Don't put yourself down
2.Don't apologize for being you
3.Be decisive don't say may be. Say yes or no
4.Don't say I can't instead say, may be I can I'll try it
5.Don't procrastinate (postponing)
6.Think about your positive points
7.Volunteer more often
8.Dream a little
9. Set Goals.
10.Play the part
2.Don't apologize for being you
3.Be decisive don't say may be. Say yes or no
4.Don't say I can't instead say, may be I can I'll try it
5.Don't procrastinate (postponing)
6.Think about your positive points
7.Volunteer more often
8.Dream a little
9. Set Goals.
10.Play the part
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
10 Tips to being a better IT Manager
1. Spend time (and money) developing your people
2. Get to know what your staff really does
3. Don't do it for them
4. Know the business and make sure they know you
5. Treat communication as a busy, fast-moving, two-way street
6. Encourage everyone to work as a team
7. Provide feedback regularly and let employees know what you want
8. Hire well
9. Understand best IT practices but don't just make them buzz words
10. Be a good project manager
2. Get to know what your staff really does
3. Don't do it for them
4. Know the business and make sure they know you
5. Treat communication as a busy, fast-moving, two-way street
6. Encourage everyone to work as a team
7. Provide feedback regularly and let employees know what you want
8. Hire well
9. Understand best IT practices but don't just make them buzz words
10. Be a good project manager
Monday, June 23, 2008
How to make power point presentation most effective
Have one source of information
Your audience should know exactly where they can expect all the information to be coming from. It is either the slide, or the speaker, or the surroundings, or the product, or the concept. Make it clear where all the new information will be coming to them from, and try not to have multiple sources.
Make yourself the center of attention
With the above, it is always best to make yourself that primary source of information. Your words, and how you are presenting them, must be the only place where people get the message from
Use PPT only to support or aid you
If you are the sole source of information, then you dont have to put any text on the slide. Use the slide as the place where yoru audience finds supporting information to what you are essentially saying. Slides that only have a picture or chart are great.
Pace the PPT slides to tell everyone the basic topic you are discussing
If you are the center of attention you could go through the entire presentation without switching a slide. However, that is a good way of losing the audience. Since your message will be delivered in parts, or categories, or sections, make sure you put a four-to-five word title sentence on the PPT that defines that section / topic / particular point.
Use timing queues liberally
Quite often a presenter dives into a slide with a mesh of information, and then starts to explain each portion of it one at a time. What he doesn’t know is that the audience stop caring the second they see complexity. Use the animation and timing functions in PPT to show them only small easy-to-digest portions of the slide at any time.
Keep note of image aspect-ratios
This is particularly true of internal ppts. If you are adding images, make sure they are not bent or distorted just to fit on screen. If the audience sees a distorted image, they will start spending too much time understanding the picture rather than understanding the message.
Make everything have a single theme
Is the presentation going to be light to begin with, or is the presentation topic “Characterization models of third-stage cancer using noise-impeding feedback in fuzzy control systems” ? If you begin on a light note, then you, the slides, the timing queues, the animations, should all be light. If it is a serious or corporate theme presentation, then everything should be complementary — resist that urge to ‘add that random funny picture to relax the audience’. Coherency makes the audience feels relaxed about you.
Understand the importance of the delivery tone
How you speak is more than often much more important than what you speak of. Your presentation is essentially guiding the audience through a series of concepts in a way that they can come to the same conclusion that you have. This ‘guiding’ is most relevant with the way you deliver context.
Use a Whiteboard liberally
They great thing about using whiteboards is that your draw-as-you-speak — so the supporting pictures your audience sees is in perfect timing with your own words. You can do some of that in PPT with animations but it is not enough.
Most importantly, keep yourself in constant check. Always try to measure the ‘impact’ of the presentation from the reaction of your audience, and keep improving the presentations over time.
There are lots more, but this would be a general set of guidelines to get you started.
Your audience should know exactly where they can expect all the information to be coming from. It is either the slide, or the speaker, or the surroundings, or the product, or the concept. Make it clear where all the new information will be coming to them from, and try not to have multiple sources.
Make yourself the center of attention
With the above, it is always best to make yourself that primary source of information. Your words, and how you are presenting them, must be the only place where people get the message from
Use PPT only to support or aid you
If you are the sole source of information, then you dont have to put any text on the slide. Use the slide as the place where yoru audience finds supporting information to what you are essentially saying. Slides that only have a picture or chart are great.
Pace the PPT slides to tell everyone the basic topic you are discussing
If you are the center of attention you could go through the entire presentation without switching a slide. However, that is a good way of losing the audience. Since your message will be delivered in parts, or categories, or sections, make sure you put a four-to-five word title sentence on the PPT that defines that section / topic / particular point.
Use timing queues liberally
Quite often a presenter dives into a slide with a mesh of information, and then starts to explain each portion of it one at a time. What he doesn’t know is that the audience stop caring the second they see complexity. Use the animation and timing functions in PPT to show them only small easy-to-digest portions of the slide at any time.
Keep note of image aspect-ratios
This is particularly true of internal ppts. If you are adding images, make sure they are not bent or distorted just to fit on screen. If the audience sees a distorted image, they will start spending too much time understanding the picture rather than understanding the message.
Make everything have a single theme
Is the presentation going to be light to begin with, or is the presentation topic “Characterization models of third-stage cancer using noise-impeding feedback in fuzzy control systems” ? If you begin on a light note, then you, the slides, the timing queues, the animations, should all be light. If it is a serious or corporate theme presentation, then everything should be complementary — resist that urge to ‘add that random funny picture to relax the audience’. Coherency makes the audience feels relaxed about you.
Understand the importance of the delivery tone
How you speak is more than often much more important than what you speak of. Your presentation is essentially guiding the audience through a series of concepts in a way that they can come to the same conclusion that you have. This ‘guiding’ is most relevant with the way you deliver context.
Use a Whiteboard liberally
They great thing about using whiteboards is that your draw-as-you-speak — so the supporting pictures your audience sees is in perfect timing with your own words. You can do some of that in PPT with animations but it is not enough.
Most importantly, keep yourself in constant check. Always try to measure the ‘impact’ of the presentation from the reaction of your audience, and keep improving the presentations over time.
There are lots more, but this would be a general set of guidelines to get you started.
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